Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
