she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
