don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
