best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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