Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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