i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think a kid would responsible me up
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
