how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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