so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
