I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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