I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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