you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
