I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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