I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
