MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
