she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
