You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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