I am puke
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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