im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
