He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
