She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
