Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
