conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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