it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The uberlube is also flammable
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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