Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Acid is not a monday night drug
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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