You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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