that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
