UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
