Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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