so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it because I queefed?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
