It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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