Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
