I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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