I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
