My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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