I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
