U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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