Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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