it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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