apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
