i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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