every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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