I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize