Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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