saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
