so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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