Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
