No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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