sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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