hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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