I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
