i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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