When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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