I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
