If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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