; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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