the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
