Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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