I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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