what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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