I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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