There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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