i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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