Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
