Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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