next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
