If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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