When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
