i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
